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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Thirst is NOT Sexy: Halloween Edition


This is a Halloween message. We know women love Halloween because they can show their sexy/borderline slutty side for one day, but there is a point when you are just too thirsty for attention. Looking like you literally jumped off a pole or a d*ck before attending a party is out of control. These pictures are from a Halloween costume party I attended last night...the cry for attention is astonishing and disturbing. #thirstisnotsexy


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Thursday, October 27, 2011

3 Things to Do Before You Leave Your Job

I ran across this article and thought it was very informative and some of the realest advice you could ever need. Check it out! (via BrazenLife---Rebecca Rapple)

Are you thinking about leaving your job? Or maybe you sense layoffs coming your way? Either way, it’s a good idea to be prepared for your next move.

But how, exactly, do you prepare to leave your job? Here are three tasks you should accomplish before leaving your job so you can position yourself for success in the future. If you’ve already left your job without taking these steps, don’t worry, we’ll help you recover, too.

1. Make a List of Quantified Accomplishments
Your resume should focus on accomplishments, not responsibilities. But it’s easy to forget what you’ve accomplished once you leave one job for another, and even easier to forget the details, like how many hits your campaign drove to your organization’s website or how much money you saved your company.

So while you’re still working, take the time to write down a complete list of all the things you’ve done (even the not-so-impressive things) and quantify every last one as best you can. It’s much easier to access (and ask for) this data while you’re still employed.

To go above and beyond (because you’re aiming for rock-star status, right?), schedule half an hour each month to record and review your accomplishments. This can be a great time to celebrate your wins, consider your challenges and keep yourself in tip-top, super-ready-to-hire shape.

But what if I’ve already left and I don’t have the list?

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tyler Perryism

Tyler Perry is unarguably one of the highest paid men in Hollywood, his road to success story is an inspiration to many, he has produced several television shows, many of his films have proven to be box office hits, and he has employed many black actors who were having difficulty treading water in the movie industry. Aside from these facts, is his writing style really phenomenal?

While I commend Tyler Perry for becoming a business success (as I applaud anyone who beats odds and "makes it") I must agree with my friend who said "his success is at the expense of black issues." What this means is, he is a BLACK film writer...he writes material for BLACK audiences. Where are the Black writers, producers, and directors that make good EVERYBODY material? Where is a Black Scorsese? What about a Black Steven King? Black sci-fi writers? Black murder mystery writers? I am not understanding why in order for Black writers, producers, and directors to make it seems they have to make "Black" material.

What is "Black" material you ask? Black material=Tyler Perryism. It's material that caters to or encompasses the following:

1. Religion
Tired Ass "Black Community Issues" (i.e. he left me for a white woman, how hard it is to be a single Black mother, how hard it is to find a Black man, how hard it is to get out of the hood, etc.)
3. Overly Dramatic Plot Lines (i.e. not only did he leave you for a white woman, you figure out he is gay, and gave you AIDS, and has a whole family on the side, and beats you.)
4. Watered Down Writing and Lines (i.e. "...and that's when I told him I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF!")
5. Black Historical Anything
6. Overly Dramatic/Bad Acting
(for empathises or to drive home the point someone has to be ghetto as all hell and most of the time actors scream at the audience)
7. Stereotypical Expectations of the Black Community

Now I could go on a tirade of how I feel his movies and plays are promoting buffoonery and are a disguise for modern day Black face, but today I am not going to do that. I am simply observing that you either have to write mediocre stereotypical material or fit into a genre of "Black" to gain quick success like Tyler Perry. The same could be said for the music industry these days too.

Hence why I'm writing a book...It's not a "black" book, it's a EVERYONE book. While some of the issues that some "Black material" covers are very valid there still needs to be a balance. We just need a few Black writers and directors that write GOOD everyone material.
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Friday, October 21, 2011

The Amber Cole Fiasco

As a young person, we all made mistakes. Hell, I still make mistakes. I've made mistakes on friends I've had, men I've dated, what I majored in college, judging how much to drink, jobs I've taken, things I've done, and things I've said. Some of our mistakes made are ones we learned from and are not embarrassed by, and can laugh about now. Others are ones we keep to ourselves. However, recently technology and childhood cruelty has robbed a 14 year old girl of the choice to either move past or hide her mistakes.

I was disturbed when I caught wind of the whole Amber Cole fiasco. For those of you who are not aware of the background story I will give you a brief:

A 14 year old girl named Amber Cole was unknowingly videotaped by friends of her ex-boyfriend while giving her ex-boyfriend "apology oral sex" behind a school in attempt to get him back. The video was then posted onto social networking site Twitter and immediately went viral. Social networking sites took the video down immediately as it is considered child pornography, and just like that, a 14 year old girl's reputation was ruined...it was ruined beyond the walls of her school to such a degree that people EVERYWHERE not only know what she did but got a chance to see her performing a very intimate act. In addition, media sources are reporting that one boy was arrested and that some of them face charges of distribution of child pornography.

So it led me to make this post. What ever happened to the good old fashioned rumor mill? Many of us have heard horrible child hood stories of girls in our schools (non-college) who degraded themselves in horrible ways by getting trains ran on them, making an oral sex line, and various other things. This is nothing new. However, the point is back in the day it was he-said-she-said. There was no ocular proof in the form of video. Social media and advanced technology make it possible for rumors to go from mouths to internet where they are turned to permanent solid proof and no longer intangible evidence. It's dangerous. It's as if no one is allowed to make any mistakes. For example, maybe the hoe who got trains ran on her from high school found God, moved to a new city, and restarted her life and reputation, but, with the help of technology, if she were Amber Cole people EVERYWHERE would know her name, what she looks like, and what she did. What's worse is because of this, child hood rumors and bullying have much harsher consequences, just ask the boys who could be charged with distribution of child pornography and forced to register as sex offenders for the rest of their life for an evil childhood prank that went to far.

Furthermore, I am deeply disturbed by the reactions of adults (those 18 and older) with this whole situation. I am not here to say that it's ok for a 14 year old girl to perform sexual acts in public places, but when I read comments like "she can't be mad," or "she got what she deserved, she shouldn't have done it," or "that's what happens, her 14 year old ass shouldn't be giving head anyway," my stomach churns. It churns because the same people who make these comments could quite possible have daughters one day who can be subjected to having sexual relations with a boy they like with bad consequences (pregnancy, ruined reputation, bullying, rumors, videos, etc.) or probably sucked their good share of d*cks in their youth but luckily have the choice to hide that from everyone in their current adult lives.

Let's not try to act like we don't live in a hyper sexualized society where things like that aren't possible and children aren't becoming sexually active at younger and younger ages. Hell, I was just in the beauty salon where a woman was discussing how a teacher friend of hers told her she caught two kindergarten aged boys giving each other oral sex. Let's not try to act like this couldn't have happened to someone we knew when we were younger or one of our own childern or future childern. Let's not try to act like we don't need to monitor and teach childern about the consequences of using such powerful technology. A lot of kids lives were badly effected from this whole fiasco.

What do you all think about it?
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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Chill Out: Halloween is Not Evil

Halloween. It's a time when kids transform through costume into things from their imagination, raid the neighborhood for candy, carve pumpkins, go to pumpkin patches and haunted houses, and participate in Halloween Costume contest and parades. It's a time when adult women delite in getting to dress like skanks for the day and because of this adult men all over rejoice.

...it's a time for evil?

It was not until I moved down south that I heard a lot of people say they do not celebrate Halloween or do not allow their children to celebrate Halloween because they felt it is sacrilegious, based off a pagan holiday, and promotes witch craft and the devil.

Newsflash: Just about every holiday we celebrate is based off a pagan holiday.

While I understand people not wanting to allow their children or themselves to associate with anything sacrilegious, I feel Halloween is what you make it. Firstly, all the "scariness" of Halloween is made by commerical candy and costume companies who profit off the holiday being celebrated...the same way all the "love" is made by commerical candy and gift companies on Valentine's day. When was Halloween every associated with evil? It was once associated with remembering or honoring the dead.

Secondly, God knows your heart. Therefore, if Halloween is about fun and candy for you then God is aware of that. I think people often pick and choose which Holidays they feel it's acceptable to go with the "sacrilegious or commercialzed norm" and which ones they don't (which makes no sense to me). If you feel Halloween is a sacrilegious holiday, I question how you celebrate Christmas. I mean, if you have a tree, exchange gifts, etc. wouldn't that actually be worse than celebrrating Halloween because you are taking the focus off Jesus' birthday? Can't see anything more "sacrilegious" than that. Once again it is what is in your heart, this applies to Christmas too. You can participate in both the religious and commercial aspects of Christmas simply because God knows where your heart is. There are holidays that people celebrate that are way worse than Halloween considering those holidays had factual horrible effects on a whole community associated with them versus the implicated non factual effects associated with Hallowen. For example, Columbus Day or Thanksgiving. These holidays are technically worse to celebrate since they signify a time where Native Americans were exploited and their land conquered.

I think that not allowing your kids to celebrate Halloween when the rest of their friends or classmates are is robbing them of a simple childhood joy, and from the direction society is going, childhood is lasting for a shorter and shorter time and those simple joys are becoming more and more limited.

So while everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs, I say that all holidays are what you make them and what is in your heart. If it's about fun for you it's about fun, if it's about religion for you it's about religion, if it's about both commerical and religion for you it's about both, and if it's about evil for you then I guess that's when it's a problem...it's about evil.

Do You Think Hallowen Should Be Celebrated
No...it's sacrilegious
Yes...it's just about fun
I don't celebrate anything commercialized
pollcode.com free polls 
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Does the Mistress Really Have More Fun?

While having a discussion at a bar with a group of men, something was said by one with a ring on his finger that has stuck with me to this day, he said:

"The mistress has more fun."

...At the time I was horrified and taken a back, but in conversations I have with married male friends (a few that have mistresses) and a few of my single male friends, in a morbid type of way it is starting to make sense to me although it's not morally logical. Since this blog is called Y SUGARCOAT? I am going to try to explain because this is a real factor of life for a lot of people. Some women are okay with being mistresses because they feel they "have more fun" and some men have mistresses. It's a fact that in today's society 50% of marriages end in divorce. Since the beginning of time, people have cheated on people they have been married to.

*Disclaimer: In NO WAY am I condoning adultery and in NO WAY am I saying it's impossible for there to be successful, loving, and happy monogamous marriages. My parents have been married for 41 years and from my perspective it has been monogamous and my parents appear to be very much in love still. *

1. A Mistress is Different than a Jump Off:

The first reason many people give for why men stray outside of their marriages and relationships is that "men crave variety and women crave stability. Men like having sex with different people." While this is a valid reason, having a mistress is not solely just about sex. The mistress is essentially a companion, like a girlfriend. A Jump Off is someone used solely for sex. The Jump Off is not to expect anything from him while a mistress has similar expectation and rights as a girlfriend would. Often times the only person the mistress is a secret to is the man's family and wife. She often times gets to meet all his friends.

2. It's a Fantasy World:

A. Having a mistress allows a man to escape from reality. Usually, the man partakes in fun entertainment with the mistress. They go shopping, on vacations, to bars, lounges, parties, and of course, they have lots of sex. As it was explained to me by one man "there are rarely arguements with your mistress because the whole thing is about fun. When you get together all you do is have fun. Who argues when all they do is have fun?" Sometimes they do things of his interest that his wife never really showed she wanted to be a part of.

B. There are no expectations about behavior. Prime example, say a man goes to his wife's company dinner party. At the dinner party he is expected to act in a manner that would enhance his wife's image. He is not allowed to drink too much or act in any way that would expose anything other than a pristine image of their life together. With the mistress, this is not the case. They can go out and get wasted, make out in the middle of the dance floor, then laugh about it on the way home. Image expectations play no part in his interaction with the mistress, besides the mistress making him look good, it is usually carefree.

4. The Are No Real Adult Relationship Responsibilities:

There will not be pressure to "take it to the next level" (meet the parents, move in together, get engaged, get married, or have children). There are no adult relationship struggles that they have to partake in together such as financially struggles or planning for the future.

5. Marriages Can Often Lose the Fire:

As a couple embarks further into a marriage, things besides "us" get more important. Enter the arrival of children into the picture. This factor can sometimes make marriage seem more like a partnership, business arrangement, or platonic than a love affair. With the mistress there is always a fire because it's only about "us" when he is with her. It is about no one else and no outside factors.

6. It Mimics His Dating Life Prior to Marriage:

All the above mentioned points mimic a man's dating life prior to marriage or serious adult monogamy. It allows him to live in his wonder years for the times he is with his mistress.

So with all that said does the mistress have more fun? Perhaps...until she develops strong emotional attachments and wants security in the situation. No fun when she wants a life long partnership and marriage. No fun when his wife shuts down shop. No fun when someone ends up on an episode of Snapped. Definitely no fun when she realizes she wants to have kids with someone she is in love with who is NOT available. Maybe it's not the mistress that has more fun at the end, maybe it's the man?

I think I should interview a few mistresses for a follow up post.
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

2011 BET Hip Hop Awards: Live Updating Post

So we have started doing a live updating post for award shows. Keep up to date with what Y SUGARCOAT? thinks of the ever evolving BET Hip Hop Awards below. Enjoy!

8:01PM--- In true black fashion we are already starting late huh?

8:06PM--- Now Jeezy is one of my thug passion baby daddies (T$) but no one knows this damn song bruh...what happened to Jeezy musically? What happened to that album? T.I. is the best part of this performance.

8:07--- T.I. are you "still flexing" in those sweats? I don't care who makes them are how expensive they are...maybe it's part of his parole or something...maybe they haven't gotten a chance to send his real clothes to the half way house yet...*kanye shrug*

8:10PM--- this telethon set up is a unique and funny idea!

8:11PM--- I would've def said Busta or Nicki for best 16 bars...and I don't even care for Nicki like that but she did kill her verse in Monster

8:20PM--- T$ city is on the map!!!! Tech N9ne is repping Kansas City on the first cypher!!! OOOO and Kendrick Lamar...we love him!

8:24--- Wiz Khalifa????? That man looks like a tatted up half naked Chris Rock in New Jack City running around on the stage...Amber you fuck him? Do you feed him? Anorexia swag on deck? So now we do skinny biker shorts? Skinny jean shorts?

8:40PM--- That lightskinned boy knows he can't sing and needs to stop right this instant

9:06PM--- This rapper in the cypher looks like he has 20 lbs of pubic hair for his beard

9:10PM--- This girl singing behind Lupe Fiasco has a full on burka on #dead...how you gonna get your name out? She must have thought they'd be on set in Dubai. Is this Burka related to the song? either way wtf

9:15PM--- Oh it's Erykah...her weird ass would.

9:15PM--- Dead at someone on twitter saying Lupe has those Kyle from Living Single Dreads LMAO!!!!

9:18PM--- BET I know we gotta pay the bills but really commercials about Kmart layaway? Ok then *sips ciroc and tonic*

9:19PM--- Dude rapping in French....thats tight as all hell! LMAO off at Bossip for tweeting "we wanted to press 1 for English during the French Rap"

9:23PM--- Dead at someone who tweeted "who weighs more? Wiz Khalifa or Big Sean?

9:28PM--- Does BET recognize LL Cool J every third award show? It's just seems like this happens a lot...cue the image of Nelly performing one of his songs not to long ago on an award show

9:32PM--- Back to Big Sean's peen...he has a cervic scratcher...give you a cervical biopsy, give you a hysterectomy with that peen... if the pictures that leaked were him. *sips ciroc and tonic*

9:53PM--- As expected Eminem killed that cypher.

9:55PM--- There should be a weight limit on the doing the dougie Heavy D as someone on my TL stated. Sidenote you can tell how America is fat as hell now. Heavy D isn't even that big by today's standards.

10:03--- It was just alright...Cyphers were the best part as usual...probably could've waited for the reruns
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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Awkward Black Girl Web Series

Today's media is plagued with ignorant shows. Now I like an ignorant show just as much as anyone else but you have to admit, after being visually force fed images of women fighting, basing their self worth off who they married/fucked/had a baby with, and hoards of other reality shows there is a need for a balance. Furthermore, these ignorant images often times feature black people and in the absence of there being a balance of postive and ignorant images of black people on television, these images paint a horrible depiction to others in society of what the black people are really about.

...and then I stumbled upon this web series and I was very pleasantly surprised. Awkward Black Girl was started by Issa Rae who felt that the shows that featured black women on television were a horrible reflection of herself and the other black women she knew. She took it upon herself to make a web series that is proving to be successful. It's not just a "black thing" it's just a good web series period.

Check out the first episode below.

I'm a fan!

For More Episodes:
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Auto Spa Bistro

It's always a good look when you can mix running your errands with pleasure. In today's edition of "Where It's At Wednesdays" we have Auto Spa Bistro. A place where you can grab a drink and some food while waiting on your car to get washed, detailed, windows tinted, or dents pulled out.

They even offer a free breakfast buffet with any service from 7am-10am 7 days a week! Stuff your face with a "Bugatti Burger" or a "Hummie V Hotdog" and sip on a variety of beers, champagne, wines, and distilled liquors while you wait on your car.

Pretty good idea to us!

For More Information:

Auto Spa Bistro
348 14th Street
Atlanta, GA
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Y SUGARCOAT Fashion Pick: Epaulettes

I love supporting up and coming designers doing their thing. I came across these and fell in love.

I could totally see these paired with a simple black dress made of good material to some sort of fashion event. They seem very high fashion to me and also remind me of Michael Jackson. Maybe even throw in a single leather glovelet?

Do you like them? Would you wear them? If so where?

Most of these are custom made. To purchase these check out the designers Etsy store called Binkaminka's Shop here

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Monday, October 3, 2011

Why Your Past is NOT Guaranteed Sex

This is a public service announcement because some of you men just don't get life apparently. Just because you ran into an ex and she is currently single, does not mean you all will pick up where you left off and by the end of the night you will be skating in her panties.

Still confused by that statement? Well let us conjure up a scenario to help you better understand and even give you explanations as to why you can not assume she is still down for the get down.


You bump into an ex girlfriend you used to date freshman year of college and she is finer than ever. You ask her what she's drinking, purchase the drink of her choice, exchange brief dialogue, and then exchange numbers. A few days later, you ask her if she would like to get up, she agrees. Upon her agreeing to hang out with you, please understand the following:

1. A Lot of Time Has Passed:

Since you have dated her, 9 times out of 10, she has had several serious boyfriends. In the course of dating these other men, she may have COMPLETELY changed what she is looking for in a man and what she is attracted to (both emotionally and physically)...and that change may be the COMPLETE opposite of you Sir.

2. Sex is Not Driven by Visuals for Women:

Unlike you (you being the male), you are ready to take it to the bedroom if you happen to see her out after years or months on end simply because she still looks good. With women, when making a decision to sleep with a man, more goes in to it than "damn he looks good." Most women think about emotions tied to the man they are going to sleep with and make their decision based off if she likes him, has good memories of him, or wants to reconcile and reattempt a relationship with him. Most of the time all these things can not be sorted out and determined on her part the night you all reconnect...maybe not even for some months (especially in situations where the "break up" was more of a "falling out")

2. Read Between the Lines: The Interaction Between You Two:

Let's say you all do get to hang out another time. Is she flirty with you? Does she brush off any of your random excuses to touch her (i.e. you place a hand on her leg and she brushes it off)? If she is NOT 100% into it it's safe to say she just came out to catch up with you and she is NOT sure what she is going to do with the situation. Making assumptions that you will be in her bed that night and brushing your teeth with the extra toothbrush under her sink in the morning is VERY ILL ADVISED.

3. No One Fell From The Sky:

Everyone has emotional or physical attachments to someone in their life, rarely, is anyone REALLY single. What we mean by this is that just because she may be single when you see her DOES NOT mean she is checking for you. It can be assumed that as an attractive female, she is at least going on dates regularly with a man she is interested in, could be on a "man hiatus" to focus on other things in her life, or could still have attachments to someone she recently broke up with. Therefore, she may just not be feeling you like that anymore but still want to be friends with you.

4. Dinner/Lunch/Drinks Does Not Qualify You For Anything:

These items do not qualify you for guaranteed sex. These items are not to be looked at like applying for a mortgage loan (i.e "if I have a good credit score, enough income, and can prove my finacial stability I'll get a mortgage loan" is NOT equivalent to "if I pay for her meal or drinks then I get guaranteed sex because we have had sex before in the past"). While there are hoes out there who are willing to drop it low for a taco supreme, respectable women are not out here screwing men for any of the above mentioned. If you find it hard to part with money for any of the above without being guaranteed sex, you are broke and broke men should not be trying to woo or impress women. Period. Point. Blank.

It's great to run into people you have past memories with, just remember the past is what it is...the past. Start from scratch to build a new friendship or relationship as more mature people in the future.
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