Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Are you thinking about leaving your job? Or maybe you sense layoffs coming your way? Either way, it’s a good idea to be prepared for your next move.
But how, exactly, do you prepare to leave your job? Here are three tasks you should accomplish before leaving your job so you can position yourself for success in the future. If you’ve already left your job without taking these steps, don’t worry, we’ll help you recover, too.
1. Make a List of Quantified Accomplishments
Your resume should focus on accomplishments, not responsibilities. But it’s easy to forget what you’ve accomplished once you leave one job for another, and even easier to forget the details, like how many hits your campaign drove to your organization’s website or how much money you saved your company.
So while you’re still working, take the time to write down a complete list of all the things you’ve done (even the not-so-impressive things) and quantify every last one as best you can. It’s much easier to access (and ask for) this data while you’re still employed.
To go above and beyond (because you’re aiming for rock-star status, right?), schedule half an hour each month to record and review your accomplishments. This can be a great time to celebrate your wins, consider your challenges and keep yourself in tip-top, super-ready-to-hire shape.
But what if I’ve already left and I don’t have the list?
READ MORE HERE
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
While I commend Tyler Perry for becoming a business success (as I applaud anyone who beats odds and "makes it") I must agree with my friend who said "his success is at the expense of black issues." What this means is, he is a BLACK film writer...he writes material for BLACK audiences. Where are the Black writers, producers, and directors that make good EVERYBODY material? Where is a Black Scorsese? What about a Black Steven King? Black sci-fi writers? Black murder mystery writers? I am not understanding why in order for Black writers, producers, and directors to make it seems they have to make "Black" material.
What is "Black" material you ask? Black material=Tyler Perryism. It's material that caters to or encompasses the following:
2. Tired Ass "Black Community Issues" (i.e. he left me for a white woman, how hard it is to be a single Black mother, how hard it is to find a Black man, how hard it is to get out of the hood, etc.)
3. Overly Dramatic Plot Lines (i.e. not only did he leave you for a white woman, you figure out he is gay, and gave you AIDS, and has a whole family on the side, and beats you.)
4. Watered Down Writing and Lines (i.e. "...and that's when I told him I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF!")
5. Black Historical Anything
6. Overly Dramatic/Bad Acting (for empathises or to drive home the point someone has to be ghetto as all hell and most of the time actors scream at the audience)
7. Stereotypical Expectations of the Black Community
Hence why I'm writing a book...It's not a "black" book, it's a EVERYONE book. While some of the issues that some "Black material" covers are very valid there still needs to be a balance. We just need a few Black writers and directors that write GOOD everyone material.
Friday, October 21, 2011
As a young person, we all made mistakes. Hell, I still make mistakes. I've made mistakes on friends I've had, men I've dated, what I majored in college, judging how much to drink, jobs I've taken, things I've done, and things I've said. Some of our mistakes made are ones we learned from and are not embarrassed by, and can laugh about now. Others are ones we keep to ourselves. However, recently technology and childhood cruelty has robbed a 14 year old girl of the choice to either move past or hide her mistakes.
I was disturbed when I caught wind of the whole Amber Cole fiasco. For those of you who are not aware of the background story I will give you a brief:
A 14 year old girl named Amber Cole was unknowingly videotaped by friends of her ex-boyfriend while giving her ex-boyfriend "apology oral sex" behind a school in attempt to get him back. The video was then posted onto social networking site Twitter and immediately went viral. Social networking sites took the video down immediately as it is considered child pornography, and just like that, a 14 year old girl's reputation was ruined...it was ruined beyond the walls of her school to such a degree that people EVERYWHERE not only know what she did but got a chance to see her performing a very intimate act. In addition, media sources are reporting that one boy was arrested and that some of them face charges of distribution of child pornography.
So it led me to make this post. What ever happened to the good old fashioned rumor mill? Many of us have heard horrible child hood stories of girls in our schools (non-college) who degraded themselves in horrible ways by getting trains ran on them, making an oral sex line, and various other things. This is nothing new. However, the point is back in the day it was he-said-she-said. There was no ocular proof in the form of video. Social media and advanced technology make it possible for rumors to go from mouths to internet where they are turned to permanent solid proof and no longer intangible evidence. It's dangerous. It's as if no one is allowed to make any mistakes. For example, maybe the hoe who got trains ran on her from high school found God, moved to a new city, and restarted her life and reputation, but, with the help of technology, if she were Amber Cole people EVERYWHERE would know her name, what she looks like, and what she did. What's worse is because of this, child hood rumors and bullying have much harsher consequences, just ask the boys who could be charged with distribution of child pornography and forced to register as sex offenders for the rest of their life for an evil childhood prank that went to far.
Furthermore, I am deeply disturbed by the reactions of adults (those 18 and older) with this whole situation. I am not here to say that it's ok for a 14 year old girl to perform sexual acts in public places, but when I read comments like "she can't be mad," or "she got what she deserved, she shouldn't have done it," or "that's what happens, her 14 year old ass shouldn't be giving head anyway," my stomach churns. It churns because the same people who make these comments could quite possible have daughters one day who can be subjected to having sexual relations with a boy they like with bad consequences (pregnancy, ruined reputation, bullying, rumors, videos, etc.) or probably sucked their good share of d*cks in their youth but luckily have the choice to hide that from everyone in their current adult lives.
Let's not try to act like we don't live in a hyper sexualized society where things like that aren't possible and children aren't becoming sexually active at younger and younger ages. Hell, I was just in the beauty salon where a woman was discussing how a teacher friend of hers told her she caught two kindergarten aged boys giving each other oral sex. Let's not try to act like this couldn't have happened to someone we knew when we were younger or one of our own childern or future childern. Let's not try to act like we don't need to monitor and teach childern about the consequences of using such powerful technology. A lot of kids lives were badly effected from this whole fiasco.
What do you all think about it?
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
"The mistress has more fun."...At the time I was horrified and taken a back, but in conversations I have with married male friends (a few that have mistresses) and a few of my single male friends, in a morbid type of way it is starting to make sense to me although it's not morally logical. Since this blog is called Y SUGARCOAT? I am going to try to explain because this is a real factor of life for a lot of people. Some women are okay with being mistresses because they feel they "have more fun" and some men have mistresses. It's a fact that in today's society 50% of marriages end in divorce. Since the beginning of time, people have cheated on people they have been married to.
*Disclaimer: In NO WAY am I condoning adultery and in NO WAY am I saying it's impossible for there to be successful, loving, and happy monogamous marriages. My parents have been married for 41 years and from my perspective it has been monogamous and my parents appear to be very much in love still. *
1. A Mistress is Different than a Jump Off:
The first reason many people give for why men stray outside of their marriages and relationships is that "men crave variety and women crave stability. Men like having sex with different people." While this is a valid reason, having a mistress is not solely just about sex. The mistress is essentially a companion, like a girlfriend. A Jump Off is someone used solely for sex. The Jump Off is not to expect anything from him while a mistress has similar expectation and rights as a girlfriend would. Often times the only person the mistress is a secret to is the man's family and wife. She often times gets to meet all his friends.
2. It's a Fantasy World:
A. Having a mistress allows a man to escape from reality. Usually, the man partakes in fun entertainment with the mistress. They go shopping, on vacations, to bars, lounges, parties, and of course, they have lots of sex. As it was explained to me by one man "there are rarely arguements with your mistress because the whole thing is about fun. When you get together all you do is have fun. Who argues when all they do is have fun?" Sometimes they do things of his interest that his wife never really showed she wanted to be a part of.
4. The Are No Real Adult Relationship Responsibilities:
There will not be pressure to "take it to the next level" (meet the parents, move in together, get engaged, get married, or have children). There are no adult relationship struggles that they have to partake in together such as financially struggles or planning for the future.
5. Marriages Can Often Lose the Fire:
As a couple embarks further into a marriage, things besides "us" get more important. Enter the arrival of children into the picture. This factor can sometimes make marriage seem more like a partnership, business arrangement, or platonic than a love affair. With the mistress there is always a fire because it's only about "us" when he is with her. It is about no one else and no outside factors.
6. It Mimics His Dating Life Prior to Marriage:
All the above mentioned points mimic a man's dating life prior to marriage or serious adult monogamy. It allows him to live in his wonder years for the times he is with his mistress.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
So we have started doing a live updating post for award shows. Keep up to date with what Y SUGARCOAT? thinks of the ever evolving BET Hip Hop Awards below. Enjoy!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Today's media is plagued with ignorant shows. Now I like an ignorant show just as much as anyone else but you have to admit, after being visually force fed images of women fighting, basing their self worth off who they married/fucked/had a baby with, and hoards of other reality shows there is a need for a balance. Furthermore, these ignorant images often times feature black people and in the absence of there being a balance of postive and ignorant images of black people on television, these images paint a horrible depiction to others in society of what the black people are really about.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Auto Spa Bistro
348 14th Street
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
I could totally see these paired with a simple black dress made of good material to some sort of fashion event. They seem very high fashion to me and also remind me of Michael Jackson. Maybe even throw in a single leather glovelet?
Do you like them? Would you wear them? If so where?
Most of these are custom made. To purchase these check out the designers Etsy store called Binkaminka's Shop here
Monday, October 3, 2011
"ASS" YOU USED TO GET IS NOT "GUARANTEED ASS."