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Friday, October 21, 2011

The Amber Cole Fiasco

As a young person, we all made mistakes. Hell, I still make mistakes. I've made mistakes on friends I've had, men I've dated, what I majored in college, judging how much to drink, jobs I've taken, things I've done, and things I've said. Some of our mistakes made are ones we learned from and are not embarrassed by, and can laugh about now. Others are ones we keep to ourselves. However, recently technology and childhood cruelty has robbed a 14 year old girl of the choice to either move past or hide her mistakes.

I was disturbed when I caught wind of the whole Amber Cole fiasco. For those of you who are not aware of the background story I will give you a brief:

A 14 year old girl named Amber Cole was unknowingly videotaped by friends of her ex-boyfriend while giving her ex-boyfriend "apology oral sex" behind a school in attempt to get him back. The video was then posted onto social networking site Twitter and immediately went viral. Social networking sites took the video down immediately as it is considered child pornography, and just like that, a 14 year old girl's reputation was ruined...it was ruined beyond the walls of her school to such a degree that people EVERYWHERE not only know what she did but got a chance to see her performing a very intimate act. In addition, media sources are reporting that one boy was arrested and that some of them face charges of distribution of child pornography.

So it led me to make this post. What ever happened to the good old fashioned rumor mill? Many of us have heard horrible child hood stories of girls in our schools (non-college) who degraded themselves in horrible ways by getting trains ran on them, making an oral sex line, and various other things. This is nothing new. However, the point is back in the day it was he-said-she-said. There was no ocular proof in the form of video. Social media and advanced technology make it possible for rumors to go from mouths to internet where they are turned to permanent solid proof and no longer intangible evidence. It's dangerous. It's as if no one is allowed to make any mistakes. For example, maybe the hoe who got trains ran on her from high school found God, moved to a new city, and restarted her life and reputation, but, with the help of technology, if she were Amber Cole people EVERYWHERE would know her name, what she looks like, and what she did. What's worse is because of this, child hood rumors and bullying have much harsher consequences, just ask the boys who could be charged with distribution of child pornography and forced to register as sex offenders for the rest of their life for an evil childhood prank that went to far.

Furthermore, I am deeply disturbed by the reactions of adults (those 18 and older) with this whole situation. I am not here to say that it's ok for a 14 year old girl to perform sexual acts in public places, but when I read comments like "she can't be mad," or "she got what she deserved, she shouldn't have done it," or "that's what happens, her 14 year old ass shouldn't be giving head anyway," my stomach churns. It churns because the same people who make these comments could quite possible have daughters one day who can be subjected to having sexual relations with a boy they like with bad consequences (pregnancy, ruined reputation, bullying, rumors, videos, etc.) or probably sucked their good share of d*cks in their youth but luckily have the choice to hide that from everyone in their current adult lives.

Let's not try to act like we don't live in a hyper sexualized society where things like that aren't possible and children aren't becoming sexually active at younger and younger ages. Hell, I was just in the beauty salon where a woman was discussing how a teacher friend of hers told her she caught two kindergarten aged boys giving each other oral sex. Let's not try to act like this couldn't have happened to someone we knew when we were younger or one of our own childern or future childern. Let's not try to act like we don't need to monitor and teach childern about the consequences of using such powerful technology. A lot of kids lives were badly effected from this whole fiasco.

What do you all think about it?


  1. The whole thing is absolutely horrible. I too can't believe adults are throwing stones at this little girl

  2. How can the boys get in trouble when they are also under aged?

  3. I find it baffling that your outrage is at the fact that she can't hide her mistake? What about teaching young girls and boys NOT to make those mistake!! Where as this story is a tragedy it is something that is going to go through every young girl or guys head before they get ready to perform public acts of lewd conduct which is against the law for anyone... I dont know who the victim or villian is in this situation, truth be told i believe everyone involved even those of us who are on lookers to the aftermath are both victim and villian!! But I believe it a tragedy that you negate the young girl of any moral responsibility for her asks.... And although she will most likely never live this down, its not something new its just advanced, for i remember getting advice to "watch for the red dot" When one would be performing sexual acts in private setting and being videotaped by thier partner or others.... Im truly saddened by the situation but as i said earlier i find no one party any less guilty then the next Amber Cole included.

  4. no where in here do I see where it was written that it was ok for kids to act like this.


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