"Honesty is an expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people"---Warren Buffet

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Ex-Factor

My ex broke with me in October over a few things and she has been pretty for sure about not working stuff out and we haven't seen each other since the break up. I asked her to go on a cruise with me for my graduation present and she said yes. We had a talk about some stuff and I know she is dating some guys casually. She told me that she doesn't think she will find another guy who will be as considerate and responsive to her needs and genuinely cares about her. I even bought her gifts for her birthday as if we are still together..do you think she is sincere? Is she using me? Is its a good idea to go on the cruise with her?

Do you like punishing yourself? Because going with her on the cruise is EXACTLY what that would be doing. If she really felt that she "won't find another guy who will be as considerate and responsive to her needs and genuinely cares about her as much as you do," then she would be with you or you all would be working it out! If someone loves someone they would do ANYTHING to be with them. Sounds like she is making you an option while you are making her a priority. She is saving you like an ace in her back pocket a card game incase those other guys she is dating don't pan out. She is also getting the convience of having a boyfriend without all the strings attached (i.e. vacations and b-day gifts). If she really was fully sincere she wouldn't string you along or accept gifts from you if she didn't feel it was not gonna go anywhere. If you really want to go on the cruise with her you have two options to protect your own heart.

A. Tell her that you obviously still love her and care for her but that your feelings deserve some respect so she needs to tell you if she sees a future between you or she wants to work things out. If she says "I dunno" or "no"...don't do it. Going a cruise with her with your heart on your sleeve will be like touching a boiling pot in the kitchen just to see if it's hot. You see the water bubbling, you see the stove is red, but you just need to get burnt to confirm it's hot...and obviously getting burnt hurts VERY VERY bad.

B. Let it burn if you can't handle what she may or may not say in response to you asking her those questions.

You need to take control of your own happiness. It is possible she still cares about you but it's not sounding like her feelings are as deep as your own. While you may still love her with all your heart you need to protect your own feelings. Love is not easy, but it's not supposed to be painful and hurt.

Good Luck,

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Man That Wants to "Smash the Homie"

What if your friend tries to get at a guy and gives him her number and then a month goes by and he sees you out, tells you he never talked to her or saved her number because he was never feeling her and then tries to holla at you. What do you do? Do you talk to him? Do you tell your friend? Do you not even entertain it?

Here's the deal. Your friend is more important than any man will ever be. She has probably even listened to you cry about a break up or man problems. A man who really likes you wants you to have friends and doesn't want to be the cause of any hurt friendships between you and your friends. Secondly, he is probably lying. Thirdly, you don't want to be a "locker room conversation"...what I mean by that is "Yeah nigga my game is so on point, I got two bad bitches who are friends on rotation."...you don't want to be this niggas bragging piece. Fourthly, even if you talk to your friend and she says it's cool I still wouldn't take it there...bitches get jealous and hold grudges and we all know this. There are too many fish in the sea to even risk it. I would "On to the next" that ass. At then end of the day if you sat down and wrote out a list of men who came in and out of your life you would probably need at least 2 sides of the paper, but if you sit down and write out a list of your friends you probably only need a square shaped post-it (one-side at that). I know it's cliche but men come and go but friends are forever. Fuck that back dooring nigga!



As always hit me up! ysugarcoat@gmail.com
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Valentine's Day...For Men

I have been dating a new guy for about 3 months. I really like him and I want to do something nice for him on Valentine's day. I want to do something that is thoughtful yet not overdone. I feel stupid giving a guy chocolates or flowers and a card, its just too cliche. What do you all suggest?


Dear XOXO,

Valentine's day for men we know is always a bit of a sticky thing. No matter how long you all have been dating. Here is a list of some thoughtful options we think will get your mind moving in the right direction!. Pick a few of them, pick one of them, or create your own ideas from what you see!

1. Cook him some sugar cookies in the shapes of hearts or get the cookie cutters that spell out something. It's a very simple gesture but it's thoughtful and I don't feel it is overdone or too little if you have been dating a guy for only a few months

2. Tell him you want him to stop by before you all go out or after you go out and make him some specialty Valentine's Day themed cocktails and appetizers or desserts. If you choose to make drinks and appetizers, find out ahead of time his favorite drink and learn how to prepare it! He'll appreciate this because it saves him having to get you liquored up at dinner and get the appetizer/dessert

3. Make some chocolate covered stawberries for him as a gift, include champagne and (if you want) you can even feed them to him ;)

4. Maybe you even decide you are treating this year. Book reservations at a Fork & Screen movie theater if you have one in your area. They serve dinner and drinks while the movie is playing and each section comes complete with it's own little waitress/waiter.

5. Cook for him. Doesn't have to be dinner, maybe even breakfast since Valentine's day is on a Sunday...besides mimosas are always sexy.

6. Buy a sex postion book from Urban Outfitters, put it in a nice bag, include a red pen, tell him to circle the stuff he wants to try.

8. Buy him an hour massage somewhere, and make sure you request a woman!

Good Luck Reader!

T$ & RayRay

Do you have any questions? Email us: ysugarcoat@gmail.com
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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Un-Super Head

I am squimish about giving head. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and he always complains that I only give him head on special occasions. I try to give him head more but I just can't stomach it. I feel like some girls like giving head, but I am not one of them. I also was just raised that givng head is something that nice girls don't do. I mean I don't mind doing it every once in awhile, but it seems like everytime we have sex lately he wants me to give him head! I think I am also hesitant because I do not give head often so I assume that possibly I may not be good at it and I hate that I have a gag reflex! I have tried to explain to him my hesitation and I want him to be patient with me and work with me. Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with him? What do I need to do to make this more "enjoyable" for both of us? Help I feel our sexual chemistry is slipping through the cracks.


Un-Super Head

Dear Un-Super Head:

Let me make this one thing very clear to you. IF YOU DO NOT GIVE YOUR MAN HEAD HE WILL GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE (if he isn't already...). So I suggest you put on your big girl panties and get to it! We are adults and oral sex is a part of sex and foreplay, especially if this isn't some random man but someone you are in a relationship with. You can whine and cry and whimper about "good girls don't" and "I need him to be patience" but I can guarantee that will get you cheated on period. point.blank. I am now here to give you suggestions:

1. Watch some porns (my recommendation is watch the Karine Stephans one since she is obviously called "Super Head" for a reason). Guys want fantasy in the bedroom. You need to morph into an all out pornstar for your man, but at the same time don't compromise your comfort.

2. Pick up the book "Tickle His Pickle" by Dr. Saddie Allison. It gives excellent advice for ways to get you to overcome your fear, techniques, etc.

3. Purchase some flavored lube...lets be real, not all penis taste good so maybe making it a flavor of you choice will help you out. They even have some that numb the sensory nerve receptors in your throat but don't numb any nerves on his penis. Check out some adult shops for things like that.

Things He Can Do For You:

1. Tell him not to grab at your head and push it down until you get more comfortable.

2. Make him trim up his "junk". Just like I'm sure he likes your stuff nicely waxed, shaven, have him at least do some manscaping because no one wants a face full of pubic hair when they are trying to do the deed.

3. If he's musty tell his ass to shower! Just like he wants you to smell like Dove soap down there you don't want his balls smelling like musty gym socks when you give him head.

I think you will be fine, but the point is you need to do it and you need to not make it some sort of "holiday treat" because as I said earlier, HE WILL GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.



As always hit me up ysugarcoat@gmail.com
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Friday, January 8, 2010


So I decided to start a blog site so that anyone can get un-sugar coated advice about anything. Men, relationships, bikini-waxing, sex, gift ideas, date ideas, fashion...you name it! Ask and you shall receive real advice. Not that cosmo-advice section sugar coated bullshit garnished with a cherry and whipped-cream. So ask away!

Hit me up with questions, or pictures, or whatever at YSUGARCOAT@gmail.com and I promise to keep your name and e-mail address anonymous and most importantly, I promise I will keep it real, 51-50, 100 with you and give you the real answers and advice you deserve.

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