While the core and foundation of every relationship is trust and trust is built upon truth, some people get the idea that truth means volunteering information. At what point should you keep your mouth shut? How much information about your past does you mate deserve to know? The answer is...not everything.
A wise woman my mother is. She has a told me and my sister a great quote "A fish with a closed mouth can't get caught." Translation: talking to much will get you caught up. The same goes for volunteering intricate details of your past to your current flame.
Information That Does Not Directly Effect Your Current Relationship:
The past is water under the bridge. Scrambled eggs (once you scramble eggs they can not be unscrambled). Therefore information that will make your mate insecure and does not directly effect anything going on in your current relationship should not be volunteered
A. Your Whore Stage in College at The Tender Age of 18...(you are now 28):
If you did not catch a permanent venereal disease from your "sexcapades" then your current partner does not need this information.
B. That "Bi curious" Stint You Went Through in Your Early 20s:
Hell it was a little fun and games. If you hooked up with a girl from time to time and it was purely sexual why volunteer this information? Some men take this info with a grain of salt, while others get insecure and begin feeling as though your ability to hook up with another woman increases your opportunities to cheat. However, if you are STILL bi curious and have not figured out if you want to be with a man or a woman (information that directly effects your relationship) this information should be shared.
C. The Number of Sexual Partners Your Had:
Honestly unless you contracted a permanent STD this information is irrelevant. Especially since most men can only guesstimate the amount of partners they have been with in the time frame of one year...ask him how many women he has been with in a lifetime? Probably has no clue.
D. Who You Had Sex With:
Divulging information about all the sex you and an ex had, or volunteering information on all the people you had sex with that your partner may possibly know is also pointless and will only lead to insecurity, tons of questions, a lot of awkwardness at functions, and serious suspicion anytime you speak to a member of the opposite sex when you are out. No one wants to really put a name and face to all of your exes.
In conclusion, while telling your partner the truth builds trust, volunteering unnecessary information can truthfully be too much for them to handle. How much information is too much information? At what stage in the relationship should everything be put out on the table? Is some stuff never supposed to be put out on the table? Let us know!
I definitely think there are some things that your significant other should not know about your past and should not ask either. I love the scrambled eggs analogy. You can not change your past and the person who loves you loves you for who you are now. Your past is part of what made you into the person you are todayReplyDelete
What people don't know won't hurt them. I agree with not sharing anything that is not directly effecting the relationship.ReplyDelete
Loved reading this thank youuReplyDelete