This is a public service announcement because some of you men just don't get life apparently. Just because you ran into an ex and she is currently single, does not mean you all will pick up where you left off and by the end of the night you will be skating in her panties.
"ASS" YOU USED TO GET IS NOT "GUARANTEED ASS."
Still confused by that statement? Well let us conjure up a scenario to help you better understand and even give you explanations as to why you can not assume she is still down for the get down.
You bump into an ex girlfriend you used to date freshman year of college and she is finer than ever. You ask her what she's drinking, purchase the drink of her choice, exchange brief dialogue, and then exchange numbers. A few days later, you ask her if she would like to get up, she agrees. Upon her agreeing to hang out with you, please understand the following:
1. A Lot of Time Has Passed:
Since you have dated her, 9 times out of 10, she has had several serious boyfriends. In the course of dating these other men, she may have COMPLETELY changed what she is looking for in a man and what she is attracted to (both emotionally and physically)...and that change may be the COMPLETE opposite of you Sir.
2. Sex is Not Driven by Visuals for Women:
Unlike you (you being the male), you are ready to take it to the bedroom if you happen to see her out after years or months on end simply because she still looks good. With women, when making a decision to sleep with a man, more goes in to it than "damn he looks good." Most women think about emotions tied to the man they are going to sleep with and make their decision based off if she likes him, has good memories of him, or wants to reconcile and reattempt a relationship with him. Most of the time all these things can not be sorted out and determined on her part the night you all reconnect...maybe not even for some months (especially in situations where the "break up" was more of a "falling out")
2. Read Between the Lines: The Interaction Between You Two:
Let's say you all do get to hang out another time. Is she flirty with you? Does she brush off any of your random excuses to touch her (i.e. you place a hand on her leg and she brushes it off)? If she is NOT 100% into it it's safe to say she just came out to catch up with you and she is NOT sure what she is going to do with the situation. Making assumptions that you will be in her bed that night and brushing your teeth with the extra toothbrush under her sink in the morning is VERY ILL ADVISED.
3. No One Fell From The Sky:
Everyone has emotional or physical attachments to someone in their life, rarely, is anyone REALLY single. What we mean by this is that just because she may be single when you see her DOES NOT mean she is checking for you. It can be assumed that as an attractive female, she is at least going on dates regularly with a man she is interested in, could be on a "man hiatus" to focus on other things in her life, or could still have attachments to someone she recently broke up with. Therefore, she may just not be feeling you like that anymore but still want to be friends with you.
4. Dinner/Lunch/Drinks Does Not Qualify You For Anything:
These items do not qualify you for guaranteed sex. These items are not to be looked at like applying for a mortgage loan (i.e "if I have a good credit score, enough income, and can prove my finacial stability I'll get a mortgage loan" is NOT equivalent to "if I pay for her meal or drinks then I get guaranteed sex because we have had sex before in the past"). While there are hoes out there who are willing to drop it low for a taco supreme, respectable women are not out here screwing men for any of the above mentioned. If you find it hard to part with money for any of the above without being guaranteed sex, you are broke and broke men should not be trying to woo or impress women. Period. Point. Blank.
It's great to run into people you have past memories with, just remember the past is what it is...the past. Start from scratch to build a new friendship or relationship as more mature people in the future.
Thank you thank you thank you for this post! Ugh guys get on my nerves with this!ReplyDelete
As a man ladies need to understand that we will try you to see what you are on. It is natural to try an ex to see if you can still get it. Any of the girls from my past who I have tried and who let me smash makes me think they are desperate and its an instant turn off. I think the best word of advice I could give you ladies is to make him start from scratch if you start talking to him again. Treat him like you would a new guy you never met beforeReplyDelete