"Honesty is an expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people"---Warren Buffet

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Bad Cat: Reasons A Grown Woman Would Smell Like Fish


As a woman, I do not understand why your vagina would ever smell like a seafood boil.  We have a doctor dedicated to our vagina, estheticians and nurse practitioners who specialize on removing hair from it, not to mention a whole aisle of products dedicated to it's upkeep.  However, there are still a few of you who just don't get it.  It's not normal to be able to "smell" yourself.

Recently at my office, the bathroom and WHOLE floor by the bathroom has become a HSMAT area after an unknown woman uses the bathroom.  This bewilders and dumbfounds me for the following reasons:


1.  How is that possible you are not aware you vagina is that odorous?
2.  How is that possible you don't know there is an issue because if your vagina smells like that I know it's on FIRE straight wacka flocka flames status.
3.  How are you married/in a relationship?  During intercourse we can only expect it would get even more stank as you get more aroused...ugh
4.  Do you honestly think other women can smell themselves when they drop their pants or wipe themselves after peeing?

This is a PSA for women, and men alike...because if a woman smells that horrible downstairs, it's definitely NOT from a period or skipped shower and it's definitely NOT normal (you should definitely not be so thirsty to still have sex with her).  It's something REAL going on in her panties and it's probably one of the following:

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV):

This is caused by an over abundance of natural bacterial in your vagina.  It can occur for the same reasons yeast infections occur, because you have been having anal-vaginal cross contamination, because you have been having raw sex with a man who is having raw sex with another woman, or because the man you are having raw sex with has a pH that doesn't mesh well with the pH of your vagina.  Typically symptoms involve a fishy smell, smell like a garbage disposal, or like a ham sandwich.  Usually the discharge is over abundant or super thick.  It can be itchy or it can burn.  Over the counter meds are not available and a douche will not help (please never use a douche anyway for any reason).  I don't believe in homeopathic remedies for vaginas...just go to the doctor ASAP.

Gonorrhea:

If you let that go untreated...we can smell you coming.  Antibiotics are necessary for you and any sexual partner you may have...once again...a doctor is needed.

...still think healthcare shouldn't be free and available to everyone????  Then have fun running into women with stuff like this going on in their drawls.

6 comments:

  1. I have been to the doctor tons of times getting tested with the results always coming up as everything is fine. My Dr says it's physcological and that vaginas have an odor i cried in her office and she is the second Dr. ..this is why a grown womans vagina smells

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  3. Hey my name is Sandra im from Joburg South Africa, I just stumbled onto this blog an im in stiches i think this blog is great you are sooooooo funny.I love it. hilarious. mwa mwa

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  4. there us over the counter medicine for bv.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have had reoccurring Bacterial Vaginosis. Hate to tell you this, but the anti-biotics don't always work. To keep it under control takes a lot of work. I have to eat a low sugar diet, drink 2L of unsweetened green tea a day, plus 1.5L of water. I take probiotics every day, and I have to bathe every other day in a bath of sea salt, Epsom salt, tea tree oil, and apple cider vinegar. The process is time consuming and exhausting. This condition is absolutely humiliating and people, like the author of this blog, can be judgment and cruel. Of course you can smell it! And it's a daily struggle to keep it under control. And very expensive. And yes, some of us are married or in relationships. My husband is understanding and he actually feels empathy for the situation I'm in. He loves me and knows I'll have a flair up from time to time. It's a problem we deal with together. Please don't be so harsh. I found this blog looking for help and it just makes me feel more hopeless and humiliated.

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