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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Things You Should Know About Porn Flicks


It has been said that you can learn a lot from pornos...hell those people are professionals at having sex! In addition you can learn a lot about what your partner wants or likes by watching flicks together or analyzing your partners favorite flicks. However, there are a few things in pornos that should not be taken too literally or applied in your bedroom. This post was inspired by disastrous stories of men and women in my office...I did the research because you all know you have thought about these things but never knew the answers.

1. Enema's Make it Possible

The reason why after having anal sex the man's member comes out clean as a whistle at all times in the flick is that the "actors" take enemas before the filming to rid of anything up there. In addition you may note that the man's member comes out of door number 2 all shiny which brings us to our next point....

2. They Pre-Lube

Pornstar pre-lube their orifices before filming to make things easier...

3. Not Everyone Can "Take It"

One of my coworkers told a horrible story of how he and his wife tried anal and it ended up in a hospital visit. He said he was not aware that he could not put "the whole thing in like the movies"...Once again as mentioned in the beginning, these people are professionals...they have all types of sex for a living. If you are gonna try anal don't expect a normal person to be able to "take it". In addition please note that the average colon is only 6 inches long.

4. You Can Not Go Back Door to Front Door

Are you people aware that they film these things and do retakes and edit the movie so that the scenes are not in the actual order that they occurred?! One coworker told a horrible story about how his girlfriend contracted a horrible bacterial infection and bladder infection from playing human Chinese fire drill if you get my drift. Once you stick it in the back, you can't put it back. In order to avoid any seriously horrible infections and not have you lady's lady parts on WACKA FLOCKA FLAMES anything that you do involving a vagina and an ass needs to occur in the order vagina first, ass second. This includes any type of oral sex as well. This is also why when little girls are potty trained they are taught to wipe from front to back.

5. They Have a Special Diet

One of my coworkers, who claims to know a pornstar in LA, stated that he was told the reason the girls in the video so willingly take on mouthfuls of ejaculation is a result of the male pornstars being on a strict diet. Before a filming they cut back on meat, eat a lot of vegetables, and drink a lot of fruit smoothies packed full of strong flavored fruits to help improve the taste of their "juices".

6. Steroids Make It Possible as Well as Editing

It always seems like the male porn star can go for hours...thanks to steroids and editing this whole hour long venture is possible. Research shows that the average male can "last" for about 20 minutes.

7. Medicine and Abstinence Make the "Last Shot" Possible

Have you ever noticed that by the end of the porn the guy lets off an ejaculation long and strong enough to put an eye out? This is possible by steroids, hydration, abstinence before filming and pills that help increase sperm count and volume. Such pills are usually reserved for couples having trouble conceiving, but in the porn business they are used to make that impressionable "last shot"

We know this one was a little "out there" but hey the convo the group of my coworkers was having had everyone joining in...so I knew you all wondered the same things as me. Again...this is Y SUGARCOAT? We bring to you all the most real things about just about ANY topic *kanye shrug*

4 comments:

  1. I always wondered how they could shoot a load like that LOL

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  2. I swear this blog keeps getting better and better. I know everyone has wondered how the porn stars do these things

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  3. I LOVE YSUGARCOATJune 9, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Real talk straight up no chaser LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah some men go In on girls trying to make there own porno tape which is cool n all but you do have to understand the other/outside things that play into it in order to make it look like the best sex ever! Lol good shit guys.

    ReplyDelete

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