"Honesty is an expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people"---Warren Buffet

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Y SUGARCOAT? Advice: The Perfect Man With Baggage

We absolutely love getting emails from you all regarding advice you need. The reason we love getting these emails is because the questions you all ask advice on mirror questions that everyone has had or may have at some point in their life. Take a look at this one:

"Hey Ladies! The other night I went on a date with a guy I really liked. He was attractive, he had a stable job, we had great conversation, and he seemed like an all around nice person. The problem is when I asked him when his last relationship was he told me it was 2 months ago. In addition, he broke up with his live in girlfriend of 5 years. I told him it was too soon for him to date and he said he didn't feel it was. I want to eventually be in a relationship. I am tired of dating different people. What do you guys think? Should I let it burn?"

In life timing is everything. Perhaps if you would have met this man 5 years prior or even a year later from the date you all went out things would be completely different, but it's safe to say you should remain friends with him, particularly if you are out in the dating world looking for a serious relationship. We say this for the following reasons:

1. They Were Serious...Super Serious:

It's safe to assume anyone someone spent 5 years of their life with and lived with they loved very much. In two months you just can't wash those feelings away, sort out the learning experiences from the relationship, decide what you want in the next person you date that is different/the same, or get over the hurt. You don't want to be anyone's rebound. It would not be good to pursue someone who is not completely open to committing to you. Although he says he is "good to go" we strongly doubt it.

2. He Needs "Him" Time:

He needs time to be care-free and single. This includes dating a variety of women, experiencing sexual interactions with a variety of women, and doing all the things he felt he could not do for himself while in a serious relationship. He is in a selfish stage and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem with this is if you are looking to date this man long term you are setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment. We hate to lump all men into a category but, since most it takes most men a lot more for them to get emotionally attached to a woman than it does for a woman to get attached to a man, most men who get in a situation where a woman they fell for does them wrong or leaves them are scorned like a muthaf-cka and often carry a lot of baggage and are quite bitter...all of these feelings he is going through will get projected onto you.

There are plenty fish in the sea. Go out there and meet someone who is completely open and ready to commit to you if you all click. If you and the guy you went on the date were meant to be together then later in life you all will cross paths again.


  1. She def should let this one burn. She will be nothing more than an emotional punching bag and sperm recepticle for this guy

  2. I agree. He may be over it but there is a 99.9% chance he is not


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