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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Signs You Have a Fake Ass Friend

In reality, both men and women alike can have friends that are grade A certified haters or are just horrible friends...it has little to do with sex. Here are a few signs that your friend is a hating ass person/ not a good/true friend (examples are included).

1. They Down Play Your Success:

If you have a true friend they should be happy for anything you accomplish in your life whether it be a new job, a promotion, a new self discovery, a new venture, a lottery win, a new relationship, etc. When you are excited about something you shouldn't hear the following:

You: "I got a promotion today!"

Your Friend: "Congrats...but that job isn't in your major right? Be careful that company is firing people right and left daily I hear"

2. They Are Messy and Stir Up Drama:

What's worse that someone who tries to make your life miserable...misery loves company people.

Ex: Your Hating Friend: "You see what your girl has on cuz?"

Is your friend your girl's daddy? If her outfit is not offensive to you why does it matter what he thinks and why was it bought to your attention? Is he or you so concerned for that matter that you would buy her a new wardrobe? If the answer is no then your friend is a hater and probably low key wants to have sex with your girlfriend...sorry...

3. They Are Unconcerned With What is Going On In Your Life:

Are your conversations one sided? Do you find that you know every detail of your friends life but they hardly know where you work, who you date, where you have been in the last week? Do you go weeks on end without getting so much as a text from them? Are they dismissive of your life problems and issues? When you need someone to help you sort things out or would you even call this person if you were in trouble? If you answered yes to most of these questions that person does not give a fuck about you...sorry...

4. They Only Come Around When They Need Something:

Somehow this person calls you and you think, oh hey so-and-so is calling to say what's up. The conversation starts with standard questions "hey how are you?" or "we should do lunch" but somehow ends with a request for money, use of a connection you have, or use of a skill you have. If all your conversations and interactions are a "request sandwich" (hey what's up is the bread, the request is the meat, and the end is some bullshit filler) then you guessed it...this person doesn't give a fuck about you...sorry...

5. They Mimic Everything You:

They say imitation is the best form of flatter...yeah...it's not. There is a psychological study that shows many people imitate people whose position they want to take. They see traits in that person that makes them a "success" and imitate it, find "holes" in their "model" and then try to take that person down...in essence the friend that imitates you could be a calculated enemy.

6. They Are Your "Yes" Person:

Celebrities have yes people. People that kiss their ass and tell them that everything they do is great and they can do no wrong. In real life this is not a good look. A real friend checks you when you are wrong and offers good solid advice without being your second mother. If all your friend has ever told you is "yes you are right" there is a 98% chance they talk about you like a dog when you aren't around.

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