Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I am 24 year old male and I am engaged to the girl of my dreams! However lately as we have started talking about setting a date I have had the urge to cheat to get things "out of my system" I know this is wrong, but I feel like if I get all of my sexual fantasies as well as heterosexual male tendencies out of my system before I get married I could remain faithful to my wife. I even went over to a girl's home with the intent to have sex with her but did not go through with it...does this mean I am cured of wanting to cheat? I am also very religious so I do plan to pray on it as well. Do you think I should get married with these type of desires? Is this normal? Should I tell my fiancee? Help...this may seem like a crazy question but I do need your help.
Firstly, I am not going to say you are too young to get married because that is not necessarily true and I do not know the timeline or dynamic of your relationship. However some things are that are concerning me with your dilemma. We are all human and whether you are married or in a relationship other people are going to be sexual attractive in your eyes. Being committed does not make others less physically attractive to you however it is a problem when you act on this attraction. The fact that you are visiting women with the intent to cheat alone speaks volumes of why you need to analyze if you are prepared or not to get married. I suggest a few things:
1. Sit with yourself and analyze all the reasons you are getting married to your fiancee. The make a list of all the reasons you want to cheat...you may find out that the reasons you want to cheat are petty and foolish in comparison to the reasons you want to marry your fiancee and that the reasons you want to cheat may even be something you and your partner can work on together.
2. If your fiancee is not doing something in the bedroom that is making you want to cheat or personally to you that makes you want to cheat than you should sit down with her and express the things that you like in bed or that you wish she would do or do more often.
3. Ask for some advice from an older gentleman that you trust who is married and has been faithful. Ask him how he has coped with desires to cheat on his wife and what made him think otherwise. Often times we take advice from people who are not and have never been in situations like us or who are on the same path at us at the same time. You wouldn't ask some random classmate to teach you a lesson in a biochemistry class who was learning the material at the same time as you, neither should you here in this case...you'd be better off asking the teacher who is the expert.
Bottomline is a piece of ass is not worth losing the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with over. Standing in front of all of your friends and family and most importantly God and promising that you will be faithful to someone for life is nothing to be taken lightly either. Continue to pray as well....but as of now I'm not too sure we should say you are "husband material"
as always hit us up at YSUGARCOAT@gmail.com to leave questions you want answered or need some real ass advice on.