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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Cosmo Magazine is Suspect

While standing in the checkout line at my local grocery store, my eyes were met with the enticing colors on the cover of various magazine's Valentine's day issue. All the reds, purples, and pinks drew me in. So while I waited, I picked up a Cosmopolitan magazine. As I flipped through the pages I realized this magazine was pretty much...well...fraud. Here's why.

1. It's The Same Magazine:

They are all the same articles that are in EVERY issue, they just rename them so everyone thinks they are different. How has no one else figured this out? There is always a "how to" sex article that usually features some renamed karma-sutra-like sex positions to try and some other lame article like "How to Know What He's Thinking." If you think you can find the key to the secrets of your man's thoughts through a generic magazine quiz than there is no help for you with the concept of life bitch.

2. The Advice Is Horrible/Desperate:

Any magazine that encourages you to give too much of yourself too soon at the beginning of a dating situation has you out in these streets fucked up. The advice in that magazine stops short of cooking a 3 course meal for a man you have dated for 3 weeks (which by the way, is NOT a smart move). Advice like that means in a 2 months he will be expecting you to go out and hunt down a game hen then go scuba diving for a lobster so that you can serve him up hand caught surf and turf. I also really liked the "How to Talk Dirty" article...come on son! If you don't know how to say a few sexy things while having sex, a robotic generic list of things to say is NOT the way to go. "How to Snag Your Office Crush"...because dating a man in your office is a GREAT idea, yep mix personal with business and expect that no one in your office will ever know your personal business. Bad advice like this among other things is riddled all through the magazine. It's in the question and answer section and is handed out to the unsuspecting reader like freaking parade candy.

3. Other Annoying Tidbits in the Magazine: The following are standard sections I swear.

A. Sex Tips From Guys: So a bunch of men YOU DON'T DATE tell you all the things they want you to do in bed to them. Sounds helpful huh?

B. Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex: Because sex is the only thing you can offer in a relationship and it's the only way to intrigue and keep a man according to Cosmo. That's the whole focus of the magazine. Being sexually desirable to men and being great in the bedroom. If you need a magazine spewing out this much sex advice to you then chances are you probably need it...because you suck in bed...

C. Dumb as the Fuck Quizzes: "How to Tell if You are Adventurous."...bitch...don't you know if you are adventurous or not?!?!? I mean you are probably at least 2o something reading this thing so you should know the basics about yourself by now right?????

Bottomline is we as women need to stop using all these books and magazines as a black and white guide to life. Sure some of the things we read are good ideas, points, or things to try, but don't let any book or magazine turn you into a sheep.

1 comment:

  1. Cosmo magazine is for desperate white girls


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