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Monday, January 9, 2012

Why Sending D*ck Pictures is Lame


Death to the d*ck picture. I mean seriously...do y'all really think that's sexy or that makes girls think "wow look at his d*ck. I need to get on that!" Some of you men took the Saturday Night Parody "D*ck In A Box" a little to literally. Peen pictures are not sexy gifts mkay? Here's some news...
"90% of women do not find d*ck pictures sexually arousing"--T$ Bureau of Statistics
. I'm a firm believer that men who regularly pass peen pictures out to women like candy at a parade were sexual molested as boys...it's wack...here's why.

1. Penises Are Ugly:

While I'm a straight female and I like men, let's face it...most penises look like discolored salami rods. The length and girth doesn't change this fact. Sorry...I'd rather my man send me a picture of him looking good as hell in a suit or tuxedo to get me going.

2. Women Aren't As Visual of Men:

Men are visual creatures. Hence why you guys like throwing rent and car note money on strippers who won't date you, love porn, and constantly request women to send you "sexy pictures". Women generally don't regularly partake an any of the aforementioned activities. We are sexual aroused by mental stimuli in conjunction with visual (because no one is attracted to or wants to screw ugly folks)



3. Men Don't Pay Attention to Details:

You didn't notice you have hamburger meat like pubes all in the picture? You didn't realize the hand holding your unit is ashy? You didn't realize your dirty socks are in the background of the picture? See this killed the whole thing...dried her up like the Sahara Desert.

So take my advice, don't send a peen picture unless it was requested. Honestly, they aren't good "gifts"

4 comments:

  1. yep dicks are ugly

    ReplyDelete
  2. exactly why a lot of women aren't into male strippers

    ReplyDelete
  3. My girl likes a nice peen pic every now and again. We are long distance though

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've just installed iStripper, and now I enjoy having the hottest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete

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