Sunday, December 26, 2010
Is Snooping Ever Justified?
Scene 1: Your mate's phone rings quite frequently at late hours of the night and he/she sneaks away to check it. Tonight, your mate has fallen asleep on the sofa during a movie. As your mate lies sleeping on the sofa your eyes stare longingly at the phone. Should you or shouldn't you? Just at that moment you whisper to your mate "babe?" to double check that they are indeed asleep. No response. You quietly creep to the end table, phone clutched in hand, you know the unlock code...CUT!
Is snooping ever justified? There is only one reason why someone feels the need to snoop...it is because there is a LACK OF TRUST. So back to the question at hand, is it ever justified? YES. Now before yall go off and get selective hearing/reading, understand the following things about snooping.
1. If you have to constantly do it, you SHOULD NOT be with that person:
If you find yourself going through your boyfriend or girlfriends phone a few time a week and without any merit (i.e. they are not doing anything wrong or suspicious) than you have some of your own personal insecurity issues that you may need to work on. You need to analyze why it is that you feel you need to do these things so frequently? Are you looking for an out in a relationship? Are you yourself cheating so you are suspicious of your boyfriend/girlfriend? Either way, excessive snooping indicates that you should not be with this person because whatever the reason is, you don't trust them.
2. We have intuition to protect us:
If you in fact have noticed a great change in how you and your mate interact or he/she is doing some things that are cause for alarm...check it out. Intuition protects us from harm. It is a personal alert that things are out of whack and you'd be an idiot to not look into any red flags.
So with that being said, what do you do when you find something during your snoop session?
....YOU ADDRESS IT!
There is no reason to sit on information that can potentially make you feel a certain way towards your boyfriend/girlfriend or that causes you pain and anguish. There is definitely NO REASON to allow yourself to be a doormat and let this activity go on and pretend you don't know about it.
When addressing the found incriminating evidence be forth coming, you can be forth coming with how you found the incriminating evidence if you were snooping for a LOGICAL REASON.
Example: "Your phone has been ringing off the hook late at night and it happened to ring while you were sleeping. I looked to see who was calling and saw it was someone named Trisha. I then was prompted to look at your text and she had sent you some nude photos....the floor is yours now...what do you possibly have to say?"...Shut down shop and let he/she dig themselves out of the hole they put themselves in. Now it is up to you what you want to do with that information. Stay or go. Red or green pill.
In conclusion, if you have a burning, nagging, desire to check up on your partner and it won’t go away no matter how much you ignore it. You probably should follow that desire. Doing so might at least open your eyes up to the person you are dealing with. Good or bad. Whether you continue to deal with that person is at your own risk. Like all things, it only becomes unhealthy when it becomes obsessive and excessive.