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Monday, June 6, 2011

Cook Out and House Party Etiquette

It's summer time now and it seems that everyone is having a cookout, house party, dinner party, or gathering just about every other weekend. However, we noticed some people don't have much tact when it comes to being invited these events. We are now adults, and being an adult means acting adult...you know...doing things that you have seen your parents do when being invited to someones home for an event. Here is a list of things you should or should not do when you are invited to a event this summer.

1. Bring Something:

We can expect that the person who is hosting the event spent anywhere up to hundreds of dollars so that you could have a good time. Upon getting a text or phone call to be invited to an event that you plan on attending respond by asking "Is there something you would like me to bring?"

If you get invited to an event last minute, stop by the store on the way to the event and pick up something you know is always needed (paper towels, plates, cups, chips, mixers, mixed disposable utensils, a case of beer).

2. DO NOT Be an "Indian" Giver:

That means don't take back the things the host asked you to bring. As we stated before, the person hosting the event probably spent anywhere up to hundreds of dollars for you to have a good time.

Protocol for Bottled Liquor or Beer:
It is NOT acceptable for you to take back any liquor that you brought to the party...even if it was never touched it is to be left behind upon your exit. Opt to only bring liquors you can afford and are ok with leaving behind. If you can't bring the 1.5L bottle, don't...settle for the smaller cheaper bottle or a case of beer but DON'T take it back.

Protocol for Dishes/Food:
It is NOT acceptable for you to take back anything the host asked you to bring or cook. If you're rationale for taking back your dish is because you are concerned with getting your pan or tupperware back bake your items in disposable tin foil pans...they cost about $3 and come in a pack of two. Pick up a bowl at the dollar store if you have to just do not take your item back. If money is the issue inform the host you would rather make another side dish or bring items that are needed such as plates etc. If money is STILL the issue and the host asked you to bring something and you can not..DO NOT go to the event.

3. Try to be Respectful:

A. If this person is opening their home to you the least you can do is make sure your cups and dirty paper plates make it to the trashcan. We understand that the more you drink the harder it gets to keep track of things you set down but at least try to do this.

B. If you spill food or a drink on the carpet, attempt to clean it up...no need to let the cranberry and vodka fester for a whole night and then have people running through it and tracking it through the host home.

C. Try your best to make sure that if you throw up it happens over the balcony, in a trashcan, or in a toilet.

D. Do not spray piss on the toilet seats or water all over the counter in the host bathroom like a whale spewing water. Make sure any feminine hygiene products are properly wraped or disposed of, and flush the toilet always...that behavior is ridiculous. This is someones house..there is not bathroom attendant.

E. Do not feed the host pets any food or liquor. Some people don't feed their dog fried chicken wings and other table food...some people don't find it funny or cute to have their small dog get alcohol poisoning.

4. If It's a Dinner Party RSVP:

Let the host know who will be coming with you or if you can bring people...unless you want to be placed on a forced diet because there is not enough food there for everyone.

5. Ask If You Can Bring Your Kid:

Not all functions are child appropriate. You may want to ask if you can bring your kid to the cookout, pool party, dinner party, etc. There may be no other kids there so your child may be bored or the function could involve some wild adult behavior your child should not be exposed to...do you really want your daughter learning how to "do it with no hands?" Do you really want your son to see the female anatomy of a stripper at the tender age of 10? Do you really want your kid to see you or anyone else shitfaced?


  1. Wow taking back liquor and food? That's some hood shit

  2. Wait, wait, wait...who the fuck brings their kids to a house party or adult cookout? Get a baby sitter


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