When Are Ringtones Appropriate?

I'm sure we can all recall the good ol days where how tight your phone was directly correlated with the song you had for a ringtone. I remember I used to switch ringtones like panties back in my hey day and if you wanted to add even a bit more extra appeal my bestfriends and boyfriend would have their own special dedicated ringtone. Matter of factly, I had DeAngelo "Brownsugar" play as my ringtone because I had a high school clique called "The Candied Dime Crew" and my nickname was "Brownshuga" (oh I was a bad bitch because I spelt it with an H).

So when does this become inappropriate? Y SUGARCOAT? investigates...

1. When You Come of the Age to be In Corporate America or In Your Career:

This is generally after the age of 23 (senior year of college...we aren't even considering you SUPER seniors...dont' try it). Ringtones are now whack and no longer appropriate or adult. Especially when you are in your mid 30s+ with a ringtone. It makes it look like you are desperately holding on to being young, cool, and hip.

It is in poor taste to accidentally leave your ringer on at work and have you man call you and it blast Usher "That's What It's Made For" as you rush frantically to silence your phone so that the office does not know you are a big freak...which brings me to my next point....

2. When The Ringtone Reflects Parts of Your Life Random People Shouldn't Know About:

The best way to illustrate what I mean with this one is through a story. A lady at my apartment complex who lives below me (and as 2 kids) and I were are the mailbox recently getting mail together when low and behold her phone goes off and to my horror and her embarrassment Rihanna "S&M" started playing. Most horrifying is the fact that the lines "Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me" blasted louder than a Boeing jet's engine starting up. Should I know she likes chains and whips? Do I give a shit about her sexual behavior or even want to know? Do her kids hear this when her phone goes off?!

3. Song Selection:

Let's face it. 90% of the songs we like today are pretty much ignorant, hyper sexualized, or could be considered slightly offensive to a lot of other people. Hence why ringtones are DEAD.

So past the age of 23 is there ever an age where it become appropriate to have them again?

YES

I personally think it's cute that my 63 year old father knows how to use ringtones and the only ones he has on his phone are ones programmed for me, my sister, and my mother. When we call Stevie Wonder "Isn't She Lovely" plays. I know what you are thinking...you are biased because it's YOUR DAD. However I do feel that at a certain age having personalized ringtones can be cute again. We are talking senior citizen age. Let's also keep in mind no ones senior citizen father, mother, uncle, grandma, grandpops, or aunt would probably have something ratchet like "Racks on Racks" playing or "S&M". More than likely their phone will be playing a classic...and the classics are usually very tasteful.

So basically what we are saying is ringtones belong on senior citizen's phones, flip phones, phones that are not PDA), metro PCS phones, cricket phones, any prepaid phone, teenagers phones, and anyone lame enough to spend $9.99 a month playing those lame games or downloading ringtones they subscribe for from those commericals that come on late night on T.V.