Monday, December 6, 2010
Maybe Your "Hangtime" Ain't Hanging?
Some men out here have great personalities, great careers, great looks, know how to treat a lady, but when he drops them boxers to the floor...IT'S A PROBLEM! Suddenly, all your hopes for having a successful relationship dropped to the floor with his boxers...you discover your worst nightmare....HE HAS A COCKTAIL WIENER!
This post is dedicated to the hundreds of horror stories I have heard from my friends (white, black (not all black men are packing heat ya feel me?), hispanic, asian) who have had encounters with a man who literally has something short of a large clitoris and set of balls. Here's signs that you are in fact NOT well endowed.
1. Are Your Condoms Sagging?
A condom is supposed to have a snug fit with a little space at the top for the semen when you ejaculate. It is supposed to be a snug fit so that it does not slip off during sex. If your condom has ever got lost in someone's vagina, if it looks like your penis is wearing a poncho...IT'S A PROBLEM and you should probably proceed to question 2.
2. Is a Super Plus Tampax Bigger Than Your Penis?
Go inside your girlfriend/mother/sister/female friend's bathroom and look under the sink and you will a find a variety of boxes of tampons. Pull out a tampon of the largest absorbency and compare it to your penis. If your penis is the same size or smaller...IT'S A PROBLEM...proceed to question 3.
3. Are Their Rumor's You Don't Have That Meatwork?
If more than 2 women you date have said to someone else that you have a small penis...then it's true...IT'S A PROBLEM...proceed to question 4.
4. Do Females Insist on Being on Top, Friend's Only, or You Giving Them HOURS of Head?
If the answer is yes...IT'S A PROBLEM...proceed to question 5.
5. Compare Your Penis to a Man in a Porn (#nohomo)
It's true that many male pornstars have that mandingo...call it an occupational requirement. However, if their penises make yours look like a 5 year olds...IT'S A PROBLEM.
6. Can a Female Put Her Lips on Your Stomach While Giving Oral Sex Without Much Effort?
If she does not choke, gargle, or make a single noise in doing the process, it can be concluded either she is Karrine Stephans or IT'S A PROBLEM!
If you would like to know whether your "hangtime" is really hanging, fill out the below form and adhere to the following rules:
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Signing Out...T$ and Ray Ray...saving sex lives 1 small pickle at a time!