Saturday, December 4, 2010
But You Say He's Just a Friend...?
No one just falls out of the sky when you meet and start a relationship with them...people have connections to other people prior to their relationship and that often includes members of the opposite sex. But how can you tell that there is something more going on between your mate and their "friend" than friendship? Often times, your mate may be oblivious to the fact that his/her "friend" actually has deep rooted romantic feelings for them. Here are a few signs:
1. The "Friend" Doesn't Acknowledge You:
For example, your boyfriend/girlfriend wants you to meet their "friend." In your first encounter with the "friend" you immediately pick up on a bad vibe. Your mate introduces you to their homeboy/homegirl but the "homie" tries to show you that you are second tier to them by doing the following:
a.They may not speak, give a fake hello, or purposely try to make the encounter an awkward social moment and uncomfortable for you
b. The "friend" insist on talking about subjects or people that you know nothing about so you are not included in the conversation.
c. The "friend" acts like you don't exist.
2. They Call Too Much & Inappropriately:
As a female that has a best male friend, I know that there is a time and place for everything. It is unacceptable for the "friend" to call at certain hours of the night unless it's an emergency (a real one) ESPECIALLY if they know that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Also the "friend" may call too frequently. Here is a rule of thumb, if you and your mate are hanging out for and extended period of time and the "friend" has called more than once...they are outta of pocket and overstepping boundaries.
3. They Don't Understand Personal Space:
Too damn touchy feely! There is NO reason the "friend" should feel like every laugh deserves a "friendly" knee touch, waist hold, back rub, shoulder lean, or "friendly" caress...and most definitely not in your presence.
In conclusion, if you feel there is more than just friendship is going on between your mate and their "friend" of the opposite sex, talk about it. It is possible your mate is oblivious to what is going on but trust and believe the "friend" knows what they are doing. If your mate approaches you about your "friend" be understanding, listen, and try to explain you and the "friend's" history without making things sound mysterious. If your mate's "friend" is STILL outta pocket after all of this discussion you must be firm and tell your mate to check the "friend" before you have to...and sadly if things don't get better it can be assumed that your mate may be doing some friendly fucking and is not so oblivious to their "friend's" disrespectful behavior.